[Coco] Re: [Fwd: Truths]

[Dave Kelly]

Carol & Lee Veal wrote:
    I thought you might enjoy these...


   Ain't It The Truth:
   Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
   pants.
 
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   I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said,
   "Implants?" She hit me.
 
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   I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
 
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   I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
 
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   I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
 
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   I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get 
elected.
 
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   I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
   want to annoy for the rest of your life.
 
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   Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't
   pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
 
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   A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend
   will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"
 
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   I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
   clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
   in the first place!
 
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   When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky 
dunk."
 
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   Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
   difference.
 
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   Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
 
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   Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can
   in prison?
 
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   If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
   with something called LABOR!
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   Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT
   cells live forever.