[acimlessons_list] Lesson 138--May 18

Tue May 17 06:12:08 EDT 2005

Lesson 138

"Heaven is the decision I must make."

PRACTICE SUMMARY

LONGER: 2--the first and last moments of your day 5 minutes

Make the choice for Heaven. Say: "Heaven is the decision I must make. I
make it now, and will not change my mind, because it is the only thing I
want." Realize you choose consciously between what is real and what only
seems real. By bringing to light your unconscious illusion it will no
longer seem enormous and fearful, but flimsy and transparent, a mere
trivial mistake. You will not hesitate to choose Heaven when you see how
worthless and powerless is its opposite.

SHORTER: hourly, a brief quiet time

Maintain your sanity by declaring your choice again: "Heaven is the
decision I must make. I make it now, and will not change my mind, because
it is the only thing I want."

COMMENTARY

The lesson makes some stark contrasts between this world and creation. One
is a realm of duality, in which "opposition is part of being 'real.'"
(2:2) The other is a realm of unity, of perfect oneness: "Creation knows
no opposite" (2:1). This is a classic discussion about what can be called
duality and non-duality.

Non-duality, or oneness, is what is real. Where there is only oneness
there can be no choice, because there is nothing between which to choose.
If oneness is reality, then choice, any choice, is an illusion and nothing
more. Choice is impossible, inconceivable. That is the reality.

Within our dream, however, choice is not only possible; it is inevitable,
it is life. Within this world, truth cannot enter because it would be met
only with fear; the choicelessness of oneness seems the ultimate threat to
a mind that thinks duality is all there is. Therefore, in this world, we
are learning to make one, final choice. It is a choice to end all choices,
the choice between illusion and reality. Time exists for nothing but this
choice, to "give us time" to make it. We are being asked to choose Heaven
instead of hell.

Years ago, before I encountered the Course, I had been through a lot of
things, read a lot of books, and attended a lot of seminars. I sat down
one day to try to distill, in writing, what I had learned from life. I was
writing for my sons, then in their teens. I recall quite clearly that at
that point in my life, I felt I was only sure of two things: 1) You can
trust the Universe. 2) Happiness is a decision I make. I won't bother to
comment on the first item here, but the second was something very
fundamental to the Course, the realization that nothing outside my mind
makes me happy or unhappy; my happiness is entirely the result of my own
choice.

When I first read this lesson in the Workbook I was stunned by the
similarity of the concept, even the very words. "Heaven is the decision I
must make." Perhaps the fact that I had arrived at this conclusion on my
own was one of the reasons I took so rapidly to the Course; it confirmed
what, to me, was the essence of my own personal wisdom, words that as far
as I knew were entirely my own. Here was this book, saying the same thing.
In saying that we must choose Heaven, and that this is "the decision" we
have to make, the Course is saying that learning this is what life is all
about. It is "the choice that time was made to help us make" (7:1). It is
a choice, a decision, that accepts the total responsibility of the mind
for the way it perceives reality.

But the lesson is saying far more than this. The discussion of duality and
non-duality in this lesson explains clearly why so many of us, indeed most
of us, experience such tearing, inner conflict over accepting the simple
truth. We have become convinced that opposites and conflict are not simply
part of life, they <are> life. They <are> reality to us. "Life is seen as
conflict" (7:4). This belief shows up, for instance, in the somewhat
frivilous objection that Heaven, where nothing changes and there are no
opposites, sounds boring. We are addicted to the drama, devoted to the
delicious agony of indecision. To be without choices, to us, seems like
death. To finally and completely resolve the conflict appears to us like
the end of life itself.

Yet that is what the Course promises and asks of us: the end of all
conflict. When this truly dawns on our minds, we often recoil in mortal
terror. "These mad beliefs can gain unconscious hold of great intensity
and grip the mind with terror and anxiety so strong that it will not
relinquish its ideas about its own protection. It must be saved from
salvation..." (8:1, 2). It is unconscious; we do not realize what is going
on. But we literally run away from the truth, and shrink from total love,
not knowing what we are doing. Virtually everyone who works with the
Course over any length of time experiences something like this in their
life. It seems as though we are being asked to die. And in a sense, we
are: die to life <as we have known it.>

The only way out is through. Through fear to love. "Heaven is chosen
consciously" (9:1). For a decision to be conscious, <both> alternatives
must be seen clearly. We have to see hell in the plain light of day, as
well as Heaven. Our fear of hell, our terror of destruction, our agony of
guilt must be "raised to understanding, to be judged again, this time with
Heaven's help" (9:3). It was our own mind's desire for an alternative to
Heaven that made hell, and we must understand that duality is a beast of
our own making--and that our desire had no <real> effect.

"Who can decide between the clearly seen and the unrecognized? Yet who can
fail to make a choice between alternatives when only one is seen as
valuable; the other as a wholly worthless thing, a but imagined source of
guilt and pain?" (10:2, 3). Our making of duality has seemed like such a
monstrous thing; buried in our unconscious it was "made enormous,
vengeful, pitiless with hate," but when it is brought into conscious
awareness, "Now it is recognized as but a foolish, trivial mistake" (11:4,
5). Our guilt over it is all that holds it in place. When we look at it
again, "this time with Heaven's help," the choice to let it go becomes the
only possible decision we can make. And in that decision, we are released.

    COMMENTARIES ON LESSONS FROM THE WORKBOOK OF A COURSE IN MIRACLES
    by Allen Watson, with Practice Summaries by Robert Perry
    The Circle of Atonement--Visit our website at <http://www.circleofa.com>

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