[acimlessons_list] Lesson 323 - November 29

Sue Carrier suelegal at gmail.com
Sun Nov 28 06:34:46 EST 2004 

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+ COMMENTARIES ON LESSONS FROM THE WORKBOOK OF A COURSE IN + MIRACLES
+ by Allen Watson, with Practice Summaries by Robert Perry, 
+ of The Circle of Atonement
+ Visit our website at <http://www.circleofa.com <http://www.circleofa.com/> >
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Lesson 333 - November 29


"Forgiveness ends the dream of conflict here."

PRACTICE SUMMARY

(See Practice Summary and also Part II Introduction)

COMMENTARY

This is a magnificent lesson! It states unmistakeably, in very certain
terms, that we cannot dodge correcting our mistaken thoughts of
conflict. Each one must be faced squarely and forgiveness applied. Our
thoughts of conflict "must be resolved" (1:1). They will not simply go
away. We cannot bury our heads in the sand. Consider the list of
defensive tactics that our egos persuade us to use (1:2):

EVASION: We side-step the issue. When we sense a loss of peace, we
watch TV or go shopping. When we become aware of a wall between us and
a brother or sister, we walk away, or make ourselves very busy. We
avoid facing the conflict in our minds.

SET ASIDE: We shelve the issue "for later consideration," a later that
never seems to come.

DENIED: We pretend it isn't there. "Me, angry? No, I'm fine; no problem."

DISGUISED: We blame our upset on a bad mood, hormones, a headache, or
a bad day at the office. We paint over our inner rage with "pink
paint," as Marianne Williamson so graphically puts it. We smile and
choke down the anger or pain. Whatever we are feeling, it cannot be a
thought of murder.

SEEN SOMEWHERE ELSE: "It's not my problem! It's all her fault." "I
wouldn't be feeling these awful feelings if he wasn't being so damned
selfish."

CALLED BY ANOTHER NAME: We deny that what we are feeling is attack or
hatred; perhaps we call it "righteous indignation" or "setting my
boundaries" or "standing for the truth."

If the conflict in our minds is to be resolved, it cannot be "hidden
by deceit of any kind." That is the summation of all these tactics. We
are trying to <hide> the fact that thoughts of hatred, rage or murder
have actually entered our minds. This ingrained habit of hiding our
egos, pushing them in the closet when company comes, has to end if the
conflict is to be escaped.

This doesn't mean that, instead of hiding our egos, we should flaunt
them and indulge them. The purpose is not to express the ego but to
expel it. But we cannot do that if we continue to hide it, and
sometimes the process of ripping the mask off the ego will mean that,
for a short time at least, we will give vent to the ego instead of
covering it up. Sometimes the rage must be expressed before we realize
how deep-seated it really is. Yet this is only a transitional phase;
there is a healing that we seek.

By contrast with the cover-up, our intent should be:

TO SEE THE EGO CONFLICT EXACTLY AS IT IS: In other words, to recognize
hatred, attack, self-isolation, grandiosity, anger, and the desire to
kill for exactly what they are. To stop playing innocent.

WHERE IT IS THOUGHT TO BE: This means getting in touch with the
situation as your ego sees it. Admitting, for instance, that you
really believe your spouse is sadistic, or that you actually do see
yourself as unloveable.

IN THE REALITY WHICH HAS BEEN GIVEN IT: Here we recognize just exactly
what we think the situation is, as egos. We understand that we see
ourselves as alone in the universe, clawing our way through life and
barely surviving. We admit that the conflict seems <really real> to
us. If we are not perfectly peaceful and constantly joyful, there <is>
a reason, and the reason is always some aspect of ego we are clinging
to, but simultaneously denying. We have to see the reality we have
given to it.

WITH THE PURPOSE THAT THE MIND ACCORDED IT: This one takes real
discernment. The conflicts we experience exist for a purpose, a
purpose given to them by our minds. The purpose is always to support
our own egos, always some form of ego autonomy, some illusion of
independent, separate existence. Whatever the conflict, <we> give it
its reality, and we do so for some hidden, insane reason of the ego.
Here is where we uncover our fear of love, our fear of joining, our
addiction to separation. Here is where we discover our hidden belief
in guilt and the desire to punish ourselves.

Only when we are willing to go through this kind of ruthless
self-examination, taking total responsibility for our own thoughts,
will the defenses of the ego be lifted, and the truth be free to shine
away the ego. The truth is forgiveness (1:4 and 2:1); it is
forgiveness that shines away all conflict and all doubt. When I have
uncovered my own ego in this way, forgiving others is the most natural
and the easiest thing in the world, because I have admitted that my
ego is self-generated, and the other person had nothing to do with it.
I have been acting for insane reasons which I no longer accept nor
want. But if this is true of me, it must be true of everyone. The
conflict has been unreal, illusion fighting illusion, fear reacting to
fear. And with that realization, my own guilt melts, and the way of
return to God is open.


WHAT IS THE EGO? (Part 3)

W-pII.12.2:1-3

"The ego is insane" (2:1). To the degree we identify with our egos, we
are insane as well, as the Course so often tells us. And we all
identify with our egos far more than we realize; indeed,
identification with the ego is almost total. The ego is our
fundamental assumption, the basis from which we operate all the time.
We all see ourselves as limited, separate selves, living in a body,
doomed to die with it. This insanity is not our reality, however; our
true, shared Self remains sane, and that is our salvation and the
ego's doom.

The ego "stands [in fear] beyond the Everywhere" (2:2). God, and His
creation, is all there is. But the ego thinks it is somehow beyond all
of that; it rejects God as Creator and tries to imagine itself as
something outside of God and His creation. The ego "stands...apart
from All" (2:2). How can you be apart from All? All is All. It
includes everything. And the ego stands "in separation from the
Infinite" (2:2). Same idea. All of these stances are, obviously,
wholly imaginary. It is not possible to be separate from the Infinite.
But the ego defiantly, and insanely, believes that this is its
condition. That is the very definition of the ego. In this light, to
believe that one is damned is the height of egoity.

"In its insanity it thinks it has become a victor over God Himself"
(2:3). That is what damnation is: it is the assertion, "I have
succeeded in thwarting the Will of God." Guilt is an egoic denial of
the power of God's love. The thought, "I will never learn this Course,
I will never become enlightened," is an assertion that your will is
more powerful than God's. If God's Will is your happiness, then
sadness is a proclamation of victory over God.

The Course is telling us that it is insane to think such things are
possible. It does not condemn us for thinking them. Rather, it tells
us to stop listening to such thoughts. The ego is an impossibility:
"The whole purpose of this course is to teach you that the ego is
unbelievable and will forever be unbelievable" (T-7.VIII.7:1). God is
infinite; He is Everywhere; He is All. If the ego is a thought that
stands beyond God, separate and apart, then the ego is unbelievable.
Such a thing cannot be.
  
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+ Commentary by Allen Watson
+ Practice Summary: Robert Perry
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