[acimlessons_list] Review III, Lesson 118 - April 28

[Sue Roth]

Review III, Lesson 118 - April 28

"God's peace and joy are mine."

"Let me be still and listen to the truth."

PRACTICE SUMMARY

See Review III Practice Instructions

COMMENTARY

The substitutes that I have made are what stand in the way of my accepting
God's peace and joy. I already <have> God's peace and joy, but my ego has
decided they are not enough. As the Course says, I want "more than
everything" (T-29.VII.2:3); my own wholeness is not enough. That section of
the Text actually says that my seeking for "more than everything" is shown
by the very fact that I am in this world. "No one who comes here but must
still have hope, some lingering illusion, or some dream that there is
something outside of himself that will bring happiness and peace to him"
(T-29.VII.2:1). "Happiness and peace" is what I am looking for, but outside
of myself. I have denied that they are within me, where God placed them.

In order to find the peace and joy that are inherently mine, I have to
"exchange" all the substitutes I have made. I have to let go of looking for
happiness anywhere outside of myself. That isn't easy, in my experience. It
seems to happen gradually, over time. Little by little we learn that what we
are looking for in the world simply isn't there, not in any lasting way.
Little by little, in parallel, we begin to take little tastes of our
internal joy and peace. As we begin to weigh the two experiences it starts
to become obvious that the peace and joy that come from within are much more
reliable and satisfying than that which comes from without. We may try for a
time to hold on to both, but it doesn't work. Eventually we will let go, and
fall back into the arms of God. Eventually we will simply accept God's peace
and joy.

My voice keeps trying to declare how things should be. Essentially the
Course is telling us to stop listening to our own advice: "Resign now as
your own teacher" (T-12.V.8:3), it urges us. We have to stop thinking we are
in control, that we know what to do and what is needed, and learn to listen.
Like a drowning  person, our own efforts to save ourselves are the biggest
barrier to our Life Guard. We need to trust Him, to lie back and let go.

The best way I know of to learn to do this is to practice doing it. To
simply sit down for five, ten, fifteen minutes (whatever the lesson calls
for, whatever seems right) and, after very briefly reviewing the idea of the
day, just to be quiet. It seems hellaciously difficult, many days, to simply
be quiet. The minute I try my mind starts reminding me of things: "Don't
forget to make that phone call. You need yogurt from the store. What are you
going to do about your relationship with X? You haven't done your laundry
this week. You are overweight and you're going to die." I take a deep
breath. Another. Another. I repeat the words for the day, "Let me be still
and listen to the truth." Or I say, "Help!" to the Holy Spirit. I let the
thoughts come and go. I step back and watch them and try not to get drawn
in. And I listen; maybe there is some word from my Teacher that will come.
And sometimes, there is. Sometimes I just get very quiet, and the chatter of
thoughts subsides, if not completely, to a dull, background murmur, like a
crowd in a busy restaurant that I'm not really paying attention to. I
practice getting quiet and listening. I don't know about you, but I think it
is a worthwhile exercise. Sometimes, it even carries over into my day, and I
find myself listening to the Voice and not to myself as I move through it.
And that's what it's all about.