[acimlessons_list] Lesson 12 - January 12

[Sue Roth]

Lesson 12 - January 12

"I am upset because I see a meaningless world."

Practice Summary:

Purpose: to realize that you are upset because you instinctively sense that
the world is content-free, a blank slate. This makes you afraid that the
truth will be written on it. This exercise will help you accept that the
world truly is a blank slate, erase what you have written on it, and then
see what God has written on it.

Exercise: 3 or 4 times, for 1 minute or less (stop whenever you feel strain)
	*	Look about slowly, shifting your glance at regular time
intervals. As you look about, say, "I think I see a fearful world, a
dangerous world, a hostile world," and so on, using whatever descriptive
terms occur to you. This includes positive ones, which imply the possibility
of their opposite. They imply a world in which both positive and negative
are present and battle for supremacy. This is not the world God would have
you see.
	*	At the end add, "But I am upset because I see a meaningless
world."

Remarks: Shifting your glance at regular intervals reflects today's idea. By
giving the same amount of time and attention to each thing, you teach
yourself that the things you see are all equally meaningless. This is the
same thing today's idea is trying to teach you. 

COMMENTARY

What upsets us is an empty slate, a canvas without paint; we can't resist,
we have to paint <our> meaning on it, and when we do, what we see is
frightening, sad, violent or insane. We can't simply accept the world as
meaningless and "let the truth be written upon it for you;" instead, "you
are impelled to write upon it what you would have it be." We can't allow God
to give the world, and ourselves, our meaning; we want to make our own. The
result is an upsetting view of everything.

The idea that what I think is upsetting me is not really the cause of my
upset (see Lesson 5 again) is an incredibly useful one. And one that can
work miracles in our experience. I recall the first time this really sunk
in. I had just gone through a disappointing exchange with my girlfriend, one
in which I realized that she didn't want to spend time with me as much as I
did with her, and she had an interest in someone else. I was feeling shit
upon, put down, a second-class citizen; I was angry at her for not realizing
what a prize I was and for making me spend my Saturday evening alone. I was
miserable. All of a sudden the thought came to me, "I'm doing this to
myself; it isn't her." I thought of the song from "My Fair Lady" where Rex
Harrison sings, "I was supremely independent and content before we met.
Surely I could always be that way again...and yet...." I realized that I was
<choosing> to see her as the cause of my upset, but it was the way <I> was
thinking about the situation that was making me miserable. If I wanted to, I
could still be happy. It was a major revelation to me! I wasn't sure I liked
it, to be honest, but I could sense, somehow, that "This way lies real
liberty." That was a big beginning for me.

Let the world be meaningless to you today. Don't be so quick to impose your
meaning on it. Just let what is be what it is, without any meaning, and let
the Holy Spirit have a chance to write His meaning on it. "When your words
have been erased, you will see His. That is the ultimate purpose of these
exercises." There is a Workbook-like saying given in the Text that runs
along the same line.

"When your peace is threatened or disturbed in any way, say to yourself:

"I do not know what anything, including this , means. And so I do not know
how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light
to guide me now."

By this refusal to attempt to teach yourself what you do not know [or to
write your meaning on the blank slate], The Guide Whom God has given you
will speak to you. He will take His rightful place in your awareness the
instant you abandon it, and offer it to Him" (T-14.XI.6:6-11; T, p. 277. 1st
ed).