[acimlessons_list] Lesson 333 - November 29

[Sue Roth]

LESSON 333 - NOVEMBER 29

"Forgiveness ends the dream of conflict here."

PRACTICE INSTRUCTIONS 

See complete instructions in separate document. 
A short summary:

* Read the COMMENTARY paragraph slowly and personally.

* Pray the prayer, perhaps several times.

* Morning and evening: Repeat the idea and then spend time in Open Mind
Meditation.

* Hourly remembrance: Repeat the idea and then spend a quiet moment in
meditation.

* Frequent reminders: Repeat the idea often within each hour.

* Response to temptation: Repeat the idea whenever upset, to restore peace.

* Read the "What Is" section slowly and thoughtfully once during the day.

Practice suggestion: Pick a situation in which you are experiencing
conflict. Say:
	I perceive conflict in this situation.
	This is my dream of conflict.
	Forgiveness ends the dream of conflict here.

COMMENTARY

This is a magnificent lesson! It states unmistakably, in very certain terms,
that we cannot dodge correcting our mistaken thoughts of conflict. Each one
must be faced squarely and forgiveness applied. Our thoughts of conflict
"must be resolved" (1:1). They will not simply go away. We cannot bury our
heads in the sand. Consider the list of defensive tactics that our egos
persuade us to use. 

Conflict is (1:2):

Evaded: We sidestep the issue. When we sense a loss of peace, we watch TV or
go shopping. When we become aware of a wall between us and a brother or
sister, we walk away, or make ourselves very busy. We avoid facing the
conflict in our minds.

Set aside: We shelve the issue "for later consideration," a later that never
seems to come.

Denied: We pretend it isn't there. "Me, angry? No, I'm fine; no problem."

Disguised: We blame our upset on a bad mood, hormones, a headache, or a bad
day at the office. We paint over our inner rage with "pink paint," as
Marianne Williamson so colorfully puts it (pun intended). We smile and choke
down the anger or pain. Whatever we are feeling, it cannot be a thought of
murder.

Seen somewhere else: "It's not my problem! It's all her fault." "I wouldn't
be feeling these awful feelings if he wasn't being so damned selfish."

Called by another name: We deny that what we are feeling is attack or
hatred; perhaps we call it "righteous indignation" or "setting my
boundaries" or "standing for the truth."

If the conflict in our minds is to be resolved, it cannot be "hidden by
deceit of any kind" (1:2). That is the summation of all these tactics. We
are trying to hide the fact that thoughts of hatred, rage, or murder have
actually entered our minds. This ingrained habit of hiding our egos, pushing
them into the closet when company comes, has to end if the conflict is to be
escaped.

This doesn't mean that, instead of hiding our egos, we should flaunt them
and indulge them. The purpose is not to express the ego but to expel it. But
we cannot do that if we continue to hide it, and sometimes the process of
ripping the mask off the ego will mean that, for a short time at least, we
will give vent to the ego instead of covering it up. Sometimes the rage must
be expressed before we realize how deep-seated it really is. Yet this is
only a transitional phase; there is a healing that we seek.

By contrast with the cover-up, our intent should be:

To see the ego conflict exactly as it is: In other words, to recognize
hatred, attack, self-isolation, grandiosity, anger, and the desire to kill
for exactly what they are. To stop playing innocent.

Where it is thought to be: This means getting in touch with the situation as
your ego sees it. Admitting, for instance, that you really believe your
spouse is sadistic, or that you actually do see yourself as unlovable.

In the reality which has been given it: Here we recognize just exactly what
we think the situation is, as egos. We understand that we see ourselves as
alone in the universe, clawing our way through life and barely surviving. We
admit that the conflict seems really real to us. If we are not perfectly
peaceful and constantly joyful, there is a reason, and the reason is always
some aspect of ego we are clinging to, but simultaneously denying. We have
to see the reality we have given to it.

With the purpose that the mind accorded it: This one takes real discernment.
The conflicts we experience exist for a purpose, a purpose given to them by
our minds. The purpose is always to support our own egos, always some form
of ego autonomy, some illusion of independent, separate existence. Whatever
the conflict, we give it its reality, and we do so for some hidden, insane
reason of the ego. Here is where we uncover our fear of love, our fear of
joining, our addiction to separation. Here is where we discover our hidden
belief in guilt and the desire to punish ourselves.

Only when we are willing to go through this kind of ruthless
self-examination, taking total responsibility for our own thoughts, will the
defenses of the ego be lifted, and the truth be free to shine away the ego.
The truth is forgiveness (1:4 and 2:1); it is forgiveness that shines away
all conflict and all doubt. When I have uncovered my own ego in this way,
forgiving others is the most natural and the easiest thing in the world,
because I have admitted that my ego is self-generated, and the other person
had nothing to do with it. I have been acting for insane reasons which I no
longer accept nor want. But if this is true of me, it must be true of
everyone. The conflict has been unreal, illusion fighting illusion, fear
reacting to fear. And with that realization, my own guilt melts, and the way
of return to God is open.

WHAT IS THE EGO?

Part 3: W-pII.12.2:1-3

"The ego is insane" (2:1). To the degree we identify with our egos, we are
insane as well, as the Course so often tells us. And we all identify with
our egos far more than we realize; indeed, identification with the ego is
almost total. The ego is our fundamental assumption, the basis from which we
operate all the time. We all see ourselves as limited, separate selves,
living in a body, doomed to die with it. This insanity is not our reality,
however; our true, shared Self remains sane, and that is our salvation and
the ego's doom.

The ego "stands [in fear] beyond the Everywhere" (2:2). God, and His
creation, is all there is. But the ego thinks it is somehow beyond all of
that; it rejects God as Creator and tries to imagine itself as something
outside of God and His creation. The ego "stands.apart from All" (2:2). How
can you be apart from All? All is All. It includes everything. And the ego
stands "in separation from the Infinite" (2:2). Same idea. All of these
stances are, obviously, wholly imaginary. It is not possible to be separate
from the Infinite. But the ego defiantly, and insanely, believes that this
is its condition. That is the very definition of the ego. In this light, to
believe that one is damned is the height of egoity.

"In its insanity it thinks it has become a victor over God Himself" (2:3).
That is what damnation is: it is the assertion, "I have succeeded in
thwarting the Will of God." Guilt is an egoic denial of the power of God's
Love. The thought "I will never learn this Course, I will never become
enlightened" is an assertion that your will is more powerful than God's. If
God's Will is your happiness, then sadness is a proclamation of victory over
God.

The Course is telling us that it is insane to think such things are
possible. It does not condemn us for thinking them. Rather, it tells us to
stop listening to such thoughts. The ego is an impossibility: "The whole
purpose of this course is to teach you that the ego is unbelievable and will
forever be unbelievable" (T-7.VIII.7:1). God is infinite; He is Everywhere;
He is All. If the ego is a thought that stands beyond God, separate and
apart, then the ego is unbelievable. Such a thing cannot be.